Annie Lived

backyard garden flowersI couldn’t check on Annie all morning, because I’m not a relative, but when I went downstairs this afternoon I found her sitting in the Activities Room, all pink and pretty.  The doctors at the hospital put her back on her meds and told her to eat.  She will be seen by another doctor later in the week for special orders before going to Louisville to the oral surgeon about her teeth.  I asked her about an antibiotic, but she didn’t know if they gave her one or not.

She has lost the will to live.  We spent the afternoon together, listening to a band that was here to entertain the residents, and Annie was happy and excited at first, but by the time the concert was over she was starting to fade again.  Exhaustion was showing on her face and the light had gone out of her eyes.  When I asked if she was okay, she just told me she wanted to die.  We talked and talked, until she had to go home to take her meds, but her smile was gone.  I asked if she wanted to come up and file a complaint against the doctor who did that to her, and she mumbled something about thinking about it, but she just doesn’t seem to care any more.  I asked if she is eating and she shrugged and nodded her head.

It worries me to see her this way.  But this is a battle she alone can fight.  We who love her can only stand on the sidelines and encourage her to fight, but we have to step back and let her fight this demon herself.  Part of loving someone is standing by, ready to help when that person wants our help, but not trying to force it on them.  We had her surrounded by love today.  But we can’t fight this battle for her, we can only stand back and let her know we love her, and we want her to live.  And we can pray.

A.

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6 responses to “Annie Lived

  1. I am glad that Annie lived, Angie. Perhaps she will gather her strength and regain her will to fight. Prayers worked last night, perhaps they will gain more steam. Thank you for the update, and congratulations on the success of step one.

    • Thanks Mark. I still check on her, but I’ve had to step back a little bit so she won’t drag me down also. Hopefully I can eventually get her out and about with me, having fun again. Prayers work, and with Annie, it also takes time and patience.

  2. Angie, what a heart wrenching post, so beautifully expressed and crafted but also so tender and loving. I hope that Annie will be safe and get through this depression , but you did all you could do and then some. Prayer is the greatest gift!

    • Thanks Anne. I took a step back today to preserve my own mind, but checked on her before I left the building to make sure she wasn’t up in her apartment in a coma. That worries me most, but I have to guard my own mental health now also. She’s like a younger sister with special needs, and I guess I’ve adopted her.

      • You are a very kind friend. Is she all alone it is there family? It is good you are taking care of your self. Sometimes
        That is to do .

      • Thank you Anne. She has no family left at all. Her mom died 3 weeks ago, and I think her will to live went with her mom. She was already depressed before that, but now it is almost at the suicide point. Her doctor may have recognized that and tried to aid her, but he should have had her committed for treatment instead. We just don’t have good health care in this town.

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